He Doesn’t Want To Be Committed, But He Doesn’t Want To Let Go Either: 5 Things That Could Go Through His Head
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It’s always the same – the guy wants to hang out with you, the two of you have a great bond, but that bond still doesn’t involve a commitment. Sounds like your own story, doesn’t it? While there are many reasons a guy won’t want to commit, there are also some other lines of thought that make the guy refuse to let you go. Do you have a guy who doesn’t want to commit and still won’t let you go? Do you ask yourself, “What the hell is he thinking? Many of my clients believe that their guy doesn’t want to commit because he’s “confused about his feelings” or “that he loves me but is at odds”. I can tell you that your guy is most likely not thinking any of these things or anything like that.
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Below are 5 things your guy really thinks when he doesn’t want to commit but still won’t let you go.
When you understand what he’s thinking about, you can break free of him and move on.
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1. It’s great, but I still want to keep my options open.
I know – at the beginning of the relationship, your guy treated you like a queen. He made you feel loved and special, and you dearly want that back. So you might think that your guy thinks that he wants to return to this state and that if you just wait long enough and be nice enough to him, he will achieve it. No, that’s not what he thinks. He thinks you are great because you are, but he knows that you are not who he wants to be with. But he doesn’t want to be alone, so you should still be around him until he can free someone else. Don’t think that he will ever go back to the beginning – that he sees you as a possibility. If he doesn’t want to commit but still won’t let you go, I’m afraid the ship has left and he thinks about it every day, even right after he had loved with you!
2. I know she’s not right for me, but the love is great.
This probably won’t surprise you, but men love. They LOVE and will go out of their way to get it. So if you’re ready to have love with him, even if he doesn’t give you anything but breadcrumbs, why should he let you go? If he can have love with you without attachment, why shouldn’t he take him?
Plus, people who are in a relationship that is fickle usually have great love. The chemicals created during a conflict can lead to great love. So, if you’re in a situation where you’re constantly arguing about his behavior, that could make love even better. And who wants to do without good love – especially when you can get it for free?
3. I don’t want it, but I don’t want anyone else to get it either.
If a guy wants a girl he’ll do whatever he can to get her still. He will keep in touch with her, spend time with her, tell her he likes her, and do nice things. He will make her feel special and loved. A guy who doesn’t want to be with a girl but doesn’t dare to tell her is not going to do any of these things. He’ll give her crumbs. He’ll have love with her and hang out with her when he feels like it, but that’s it. And she’ll beg for those crumbs thinking they’re enough. Ironically, the guy who doesn’t want a woman often doesn’t want anyone else to get her either. And why? Because he’s good – he should keep an eye on someone else, have love with her, let her take care of him and all the other good things that a relationship brings – without having to give her anything. So if your guy is possessive, it’s not because he loves you. It’s because he likes what he has with you – for now.
4. I’m so bored.
Does your guy call you late at night? Or on a Sunday afternoon? Do you feel special knowing he is thinking of you right before bed or at halftime in the game? Do you use these moments to prove to yourself that he will come back to you because he still loves you? Let me tell you it’s not what he thinks At bedtime he’s bored (and maybe horny too) and he knows you’re on the other end of the phone waiting to hear from him. He’s got nothing to do at halftime, so he texts you to keep him busy until the game starts again. If you only hear from him sporadically, he won’t think about missing you or wishing you were with him, no matter what he says!
5. Have I got my heart rate high enough while cycling?
Be honest: if you’re in a situation where you have a guy who doesn’t want to commit but still won’t let you go, do you spend 99% of your day thinking about it? Do you keep a diary, do you talk to your friends, do you google the topic and ponder what went wrong? Of course, you do. All women do. But guys just don’t do that. When a guy isn’t interested in a woman he won’t get it out of his head until he’s bored or horny. He won’t spend a second thinking about what happened, what went wrong, or what’s next. He lives in the moment and thinks about the things that are important to him. I think if guys could process what happened in their relationships instead of focusing on sports, work, or whatever, then women wouldn’t have to spend 99% of their time wondering what’s going on. Why? Because men would be able to talk about their feelings and not let women down without knowing what happened. And if that happened, women could move on and free someone who can really love them! I know you want to believe that a guy who doesn’t want to commit but still won’t let you go is in conflict and that if you love him enough, he will come back to you. I wish this was true, but it isn’t. Again, if a man wants a woman, he will move heaven and earth to get her. A guy who gives you crumbs but doesn’t want a relationship with you isn’t going to think about what’s going on all the time. He may waste a thought on you as he goes about his day, but that’s about it. I know this is painful to hear, but the sooner you accept it and move on, the more likely it is that you will free the love that you seek. And she’s out there waiting for you! So hurry up!