How well do you know your girlfriend? I mean, really know them?
Whether or not you know her well, the truth is that we can all get to know our significant other a little better.
Fortunately, there’s a fairly easy way to do that, and it can be a lot of fun. You just have to spark a good conversation by asking the right questions.
These engaging deep questions to ask your girlfriend will help you connect with her on a more intimate level.
1. What kind of person do you envision yourself as, and how do you want people to remember you?
Most people are too focused on the hustle and bustle of life to give this question much thought, so you might have to give her time to answer it.
It should give you a good idea of what qualities she hopes to develop.
2. Who’s the closest person to you in your extended family?
If you want a second opinion on your girlfriend, this person is probably someone you should definitely get to know.
Be sure to ask her why he or she is so special.
3. At what age do you feel like you become an adult?
One of the deepest questions to ask your girlfriend, because even science doesn’t have a clear cut answer for when a person becomes an adult.
Age alone does not make an adult. With each milestone, comes a host of new responsibilities and the opportunity for transformation.
Which milestone does she think turns boys and girls into men and women?
4. What single word do you think really, truly describes who you are as a person?
The one word that your girlfriend believes defines her might not be the same as yours. When she tells you what she thinks her greatest characteristic is, find out why she thinks that and show her your support.
5. Would you be willing to lie to a court for a close friend if it meant saving your friend from going to jail?
Some people would put their reputation and self-respect on the line to protect the image of those they love, but you might be surprised at how many people would answer “No” to this question.
It should give you an idea of how strongly your girlfriend’s ethics influences her decision.
6. If you had to pick how you died, what would it be?
We debated whether to include this one in our list of deep questions to ask your girlfriend or in the funny questions section, and that’s because her answer can go either way: hilarious or sentimental.
A blaze of glory? Suffocated by a hundred kittens? Or perhaps surrounded by loved ones?
Jokes aside, how your girlfriend wants to go out can tell you a lot about how she wants to live.
7. What would you do tomorrow, if you lost your job and money and we had to start over?
What are the things, people or memories that she is stubbornly holding onto? Has she been pursuing the wrong career?
Asking this question will help you get the necessary answers. Just remember to be supportive of her.
8. If you could choose the sex of your child, would you?
Beyond finding out what gender she wants her children to be, and why, this question let’s her share her thoughts on life and science.
In particular, does she think having the option to choose upsets a natural process in society and nature?
9. Would you ever design your children if given the option, and what features would you give them?
If she could design the perfect child, would she, and what would the child look and behave like?
One of the most controversial and deep questions to ask your girlfriend, one that can develop into a very long conversation.
You’ve seen what humans have done with dogs and other animals. Does she have any ethical hiccups about the concept, especially when human beings are the test subjects?
10. What challenging experiences have made you stronger?
It’s often the most painful experiences that lead to our greatest personal, emotional, spiritual and even financial growth.
You want to be with someone who knows a thing or two about hard times, because such a person can help you grow through your difficult times.
11. What would you wish to accomplish in life, if you could only accomplish one major thing?
Learn about her passion, and see what you can do to help her achieve it.
Show her that you want to be part of her dream.
12. When was the last time you failed really badly?
This job interview-like question is great for your still getting to know your girlfriend.
Her answer, particularly what she learned from the experience, can tell you a lot about her resolve and how well she holds herself accountable for her life actions.
13. If we could live in a virtual world, but we could never come back to this one, would you want to?
Advancements in virtual reality technology makes this a very good, thought-provoking question to ask your girlfriend.
Everyone wants to live in their own world. Assuming she’s not one of those people who thinks real life is actually a virtual reality, would she want to leave her existing reality for another one?
You will definitely learn about the aspects of her human life she wants to escape in the lengthy conversation that ensues.
14. Do you believe evil people are born evil?
The world is full of some truly dangerous people, but were they born that way or did their environment mold them into the monsters they are? One of the deepest questions to ask your girlfriend, indeed.
You can make the conversation even more engaging by asking her if humans in general are born good or evil.
15. Is life anything like you had pictured it would be growing up?
Not only will this question help you find out if your girlfriend is living the life she imagined, and whether someone like you is supposed to be in it, but it will also give you an idea of how much she has changed / grown over the decades.
16. Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
Call it nature, call it god. We have all wondered if there is some force behind our lives.
Does she believe people face difficulties in order to learn to let go, things go wrong so that we appreciate them when they’re right, and that good things fall apart so that better things can fall together?
Get to know her philosophical and spiritual side.
17. What belief do you have that most people disagree with?
Sometimes you just have to agree to disagree. Get to know her viewpoint on certain aspects of life, and see if you can back her up as she fights her corner by trying to see both sides of the picture.
18. Are you holding onto something that you need to let go of?
One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go of the things that don’t serve us, be it anger, guilt, love, or loss. But it’s often when we let go that we grow the most.
Having her talk about the unproductive thing she’s holding onto could be the catalyst for her finally letting go.
19. What is the hardest lesson you had to learn in life?
Life can throw at us some truly painful experiences, but it’s what we learn from them that matters the most.
Let your girlfriend share her wisdom. Find out how much of a better person she’s become because of the difficult lesson.
20. What first attracted you to me? How has that one attraction changed since then?
One of the few questions to ask your girlfriend that’s actually about you. I’m sure you will be intrigued to know how her physical and emotional attraction to you has evolved over time.
Use the knowledge obtained to improve yourself in a way that makes her more attracted to you.